I like you kids. I really do. You have fun names like "Ketchup" and you occasionally set stuff on fire. This fits well into my world view that society is accelerating into a surreal spiral that will crash and burn into a heap of flaming advertising. Like a black hole made from Shark Vacuums.
I call it the Dirt Predator. Your life is a failure if you do not buy one right now, for three easy payments of $49.95.
Your struggle for equal camping rights has really had a profound effect on me. All citizens deserve the right to camp in local parks. Erect your sage green NorthFace Marmot Tent with pride, stand and take your police beat-down, and sleep well knowing you've done your civic duty-
Wait. What? This wasn't about camping? Why are we shooting all of these people?
Sleep in a portable nylon mesh dome? Not on my fucking watch.
You live in a world where The Authority can smash your face in, for setting a tent on a public lawn. We haven't even gotten to the fun stuff yet, like setting bonfires, or wandering into the Senate Chamber, storming the CIA headquarters, or daring not to take our shoes off at the airport.
Sometimes you have to test the waters. Do something a teensy bit out of line to provoke the beast, and wait for a reaction. (Like sticking your finger into your sleeping cat's ear. I do that.)
This provocation was "Tents!" and the reaction was "Rubber bullets... at your face!".
Take a deep breath and dust off the ol' crossbow, because shit is going down. Hard.
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